You Can
For years - I thought I can’t. For almost everything I ever did or tried to do. The more I failed when I did try, the more I affirmed to myself that I was right. I can’t.
“As young people, we are surrounded by expectations that may have little to do with who we really are, expectations held by people who are not trying to discern our selfhood but to fit us into slots.”
When we let go of these long held expectations of who we think we are supposed to be, our true selves have room to show up. I believe we all have been given unique gifts, ones that are unique to who we are. They were given to us for a purpose. Over time, they get buried deep inside of us, underneath the expectations and opinions of other people. To discover them, we have to listen for them.
Unfortunately, instead of spending time listening for our self, we spend the majority of our time seeking approval and affirmation from those that have set expectations for us. I used to need so much affirmation. It was insatiable. The ironic thing about it is that I would always want more even though deep down inside I knew it would never be enough to fill the empty hole that was inside me. Over time, I started to affirm myself. I began a journey into self acceptance and I slowly loosened my grip on the need for other people to accept me. In this process I found freedom. Freedom to be me. Self acceptance created space for me to figure out who I was becoming.
I used to be so self conscious, so insecure it was painful. Now I know it was because I wasn’t living up to those external expectations. When I shifted my focus internally, and declared who I was and what I stand for - true confidence showed up. Confidence comes from a deep sense of acceptance. From that place, there’s nothing to prove. Nothing to live up to. Nothing to win.
Confident people make the best leaders. They have the most capacity to hold space for other people because they are not worrying about their own insecurities and trying to prove themselves. They are simply ready to serve. It’s a big responsibility and it takes energy, commitment and effort. The work is worth it.
If you are feeling insecure about anything in your life right now, quiet down and listen for yourself to speak. It all starts within.
Here to serve,
Mishelle