My Greatest Lesson of 2018
What do you do when people let you down?
Well I will tell you what I do. I trade my expectations for acceptance. Being in the practice of acceptance is daily choice for me. It’s a moment to moment decision that I have to make consciously. I used to think that happiness should come easy. That everyone and everything in my life should make me happy. The truth is, happiness takes work and effort. It’s something that I choose. It’s something that I actively work to maintain. A big part of that is learning to accept.
Acceptance doesn’t mean I have to be ok with it. Acceptance is simply the act of recognizing that there is nothing I can do to change it and therefore I do not attach my emotional well being to the situation. There is peace in acceptance. I find that when I focus on my expectations I get nothing but disappointment and I am in blame of everyone around me which leaves me disconnected, exhausted and unhappy.
When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be. - Mandy Hale
Whenever I want things or people to be different, it’s a red flag for me to check in with my expectations. The practice of acceptance is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself. One tool that helps me is the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I’ve also recently heard it this way from Miles Adcox and I really like it.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the one that I can,
and the wisdom to know that it is me.
No matter how much I wish other people would change - the truth is that nothing changes until I do. When I change MY perspective and adjust MY expectations, how I experience the world around me changes and all of a sudden, everything is different.
We do not have the power to change other people but we do have the power to change how we respond to them. If someone let’s you down, acknowledge your disappointment and then accept the fact that they didn’t do it on purpose. They are doing the very best that they can and sadly their best, doesn’t meet your expectations. I find that when I accept, I have more room for understanding, empathy and grace. I can see people for who they are and who they aren’t.
If you base your happiness on the actions of others, you will never be happy. People and the world will always let you down. The secret is in managing your expectations and learning to accept the things you cannot change.
Here to serve,
Mishelle
“Trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole world changes in an instant.”